James Valentine Peake was born on Tuesday, January 24th by emergency Caesarian section. He lived only three days, and died in my arms on Friday, January 27th. He was surrounded by the love of his family. He went peacefully without struggle or pain, and looked ever more beautiful as he was leaving our world. Even though we don’t know if he could feel or perceive anything physically (the doctors discovered almost no electrical activity in his brain), we do know that he got our love, and the love of so many during these precious three days.
Val has been discharged from the hospital and is resting at home. Our experience has been very profound, and we are both feeling very tender. We are really just taking it moment to moment, supported so caringly by family and friends. My worldly ambitions seem very trivial right now, and the last thing on my mind is software design. In time I’m sure other posts may emerge on this site. But for now, we are simply in mourning–for our hopes and dreams as parents, and the great love and loss we felt for our precious son. I feel blessed to have experienced, briefly but profoundly, the essence of parenthood–that pure and selfless love–and know we will never be the same.
Please keep us all in your prayers for the highest good, and also say a prayer of loving for the soul of our beloved son if you feel so moved.
22 Comments
We’re into February already and this is only my second post of the year. Project after project poured in over January, and my development schedule has been insane. Trying to juggle all of the proverbial ‘balls’ – or as my boss likes to say ‘keep all the
Robert, please extend my wife and mine’s condolences to Val and the rest of your family. You will be in our thoughts.
Charles
Robert I’m so terribly sorry. But you are right, your baby was loved and is now watching over you two because of that love. Please send your wife and family my condolences.
I am so very sorry to hear about your loss. You will be in my thoughts.
Robert, I can’t tell you how sorry I am for what has happened – especially when it happened so suddenly. If there were any “magic words” to even ease things for a second, trust me – I’d be there with them.
Me and my family will say a prayer for you and yours, knowing that God will hear it and send comfort and peace to you…
Robert, my wife and I extend our condolences for your heartbreaking loss. We wish you strength in the weeks, months and years ahead as you cope with the loss of James and the thoughts of what was and what might have been. As a father, I can imagine no more tragic event.
You and your wife will be in our thoughts for some time to come.
I don’t believe there is anything I could say to relieve you of your pain, but just know that we all share in your sorrow and pray for God to show you the way through this most difficult time. My deepest sympathies and prayers are offered.
I’m so very sorry for you and your wife’s loss. All three of you are in the prayers of my wife and I.
Robert,
To you and your family, my thoughts are with you. I just heard this terrible news, I can’t even imagine what you must be going through.
Take care, brighter days are near!
Hi Robert,
My thoughts to you and your family. I lost my son in January last year and know what you’re going through.
Take care.
Thanks for reaching out, Chris. It’s amazing that even though for me personally this has been the most profound experience of my life, I am not alone in having had this kind of experience. Last week we kept listening to Bach over and over — who lost ten children (ten more survived) — and still managed to write some of the most uplifting and inspired music. I guess it’s true we just have no choice but to go on…
My sincerest condolences to you and your family.
Robert – heartfelft condolences to you and Val, may James forever play in the gardens of heaven. May god give you the strength to overcome – you and your will be in our prayers.
Dear Robert,
I am all with you and your wife in this sad moment. I am also a young father and I can feel how unbearable it is to deal with such an event. I cannot find words that would make you feel better because there are none. I just hope we will still keep in touch and that you and your wife will come and visit me in Paris someday.
So sorry to hear of your loss. That’s something nobody should ever have to go through.
I’m so sorry for your loss. I hope you and your wife are doing ok.
I am deeply saddened by this news, even though I don’t know you personally. My condolances to yourself, your wife, and all friends and family.
Robert,
There is not much one could say to someone who has just suffered a loss as tragic as yours. I can only tell you that even though you have lost your newborn son, you do not have to lose the “love” that you had for him, you can make it something that will last forever. Life is a balance between sadness and joy, unfortunately we do not get to choose the times that one prevails in.
I have had a good friend go through what you are going through now, the only thing you can do is make this a good memory in your life vs. a bad one, even though this will be a challenge in itself.
Don’t give up, children are a blessing that make our lives complete. Do not hide from the chance of going through another agonising experience. The only thing you can do to ease your pain is to focus on the love in your life.
My prayers are with you, your wife, and James. Know that he has a love for you just as you have a love for him.
God Bless.
Robert and Valerie,
I’m wordless since you told me this terrible news.
Be sure all our thoughts here go to you, your family and poor innocent James Valentine.
In his memory, you need to overcome it. I’m sure future days will bring you back happy events !
In the mean time, it’s clear we will all tend a hand to you for all we can share, don’t worry about the projects you take part, if you don’t feel so.
Don’t loose hope.
Rob and Val,
It was beautiful for me to read this and comments from others. I love you so much and appreciate and admire you both more than ever. Much love, Margaret
Dear Robert and Val,
Oh what a dear, sweet, adorable little boy that you brought to this earth! I can’t stop looking at his picture. It brings tears to my eyes. My husband and I experienced a loss similar to yours on 9-19-04 when our son Ansel died. My heart goes out to you both and we will think of you often. (We found out today about little James from our friend Leslie Davis….)
Take Care,
Jammie
Thanks, Jammie, for your kind words and empathy. Our thoughts are upon James more and more as the year comes to an end, with the holidays get closer, and as we near the first anniversary of his birth and death.
Leslie was kind enough to come introduce herself to me today during a chance meeting in a local cafe. So great to connect with other local poets, who seem to be emerging into my view like slugs after a rain – that is, slowly. She seems like a wonderful person, poet, and mom.